The Hand

The hand
That pinch me
Hit me
Always be ready to squeeze my pimples with devilish face

The hand
That pinch my nose when another hand is holding a book to read for me
Rub my head but never fix after that and laugh because of the look of me
Wipe on my shirts when it's wet or something is sticking on it
And put pepper or soya sauce into my drinks

The hand
That cheats whenever playing some game
That can't draw well neither be able to cut straight

The hand
That plucks my legs' hair
Tickle my feet
Untie my shoelaces
As well as throwing my slippers away

But then that hand
Leads me to where I should buy another slippers
And if I've ever almost fell down
It is there to hold me tight

The hand
That covers my eyes
From violent scene, or something I'm scared of
And it silently take my tears away
While another one is hugging me from shivering

The hand
That capture my moments
Patiently fix the kite
Check if I'm inside
And finally is always silently covering blanket

The hand
That drives me to happiness
Stops me from danger
And wrap around me just to say goodbye

The hand
That hold my shoulders when I'm riding
Pat on me to signal me to go
Hold the helmet when it's going to fly away
Or hold a cup for me whenever I need to drink
And zip up my jacket if I ever say that I'm cold

The hand
Not hard, not dry, nor strong enough
But soft, fragile, and easy to 'run away'
Yet is the tightest and the warmest hand that I'm proud to have...

For the day I show you my world...

Thở dài

Đôi mắt đó lại nhìn chằm chằm vào 1 khoảng không gian mờ ảo, nhìn như vô định, nhưng là ánh nhìn xoáy sâu vào đời nó, càng xoáy càng đau...

Sẽ có bao đêm như thế này, chực chờ 1 giọng nói khó chịu từ hắn, hay cái trở mình đầy bạo lực, có đôi khi chỉ là 1 tiếng hằn giọng tàn nhẫn. Nằm bên cạnh tôi là mẹ, và bên cạnh mẹ là hắn, nhưng hắn nằm bên cạnh ai tưởng chừng chẳng có 1 ý nghĩa nào cả. Mẹ ngáy, như bao lần khác mẹ vẫn vậy, chỉ 1 điều khác rằng mẹ ngáy bên cạnh sự có mặt của hắn. Không biết rằng mẹ có nghe thấy sự khó chịu của hắn không nhưng dường như mỗi lần như vậy tiếng động của mẹ càng nhỏ hơn, có đôi khi lại to bất ngờ. Tôi vẫn thường thích thú chiêm ngưỡng nó 1 cách tò mò, nhưng trong hoàn cảnh như thế này, tôi lại sợ nó sẽ ngừng hẳn hơn bất cứ khi nào hết. Nó dừng có nghĩa là mẹ tôi đã tỉnh giấc như tôi. Vậy là trong đêm tối, có 2 đôi mắt mở trừng lên còn 1 đôi thì nay đã yên vị ngủ.

Mắt muốn nhắm nhưng lệ chẳng ngừng rơi, cơ thể muốn ngủ nhưng tinh thần vẫn quẫy, bất giác hắt 1 tiếng thở dài, nghiền đôi mắt lại cố đi vào tâm tưởng để hi vọng không phải nghe thêm bất cứ 1 điều gì nữa, tai như vẫn văng vẳng có thể giật mình tỉnh dậy cả đôi ngươi...

Pointless

It's pointless to try showing someone that you're happy when you're sad indeed. But if you can really act well, then do so.

It's pointless to call someone when you're crying and then don't wanna tell what happened to that person. But if you want a blind and fake care or a 'dust bin', then do so.

It's pointless to try when yourself don't wanna stand up. But if you think you always have someone there to help, then do so and see the result.

How many times I need to tell you that I don't need to see your fake smile or being happy when being with me? I want the real you and need to know about your stories. I will still scold you as usual but doesn't mean I don't wanna listen anymore. I want to see your progress to get out of that. I don't want to see laughs and tears.

How many times more you wanna dig your own pain and memories when you don't dare to face them? But even if it unexpectedly comes back? What are you gonna do to make it better? Cry? Well, then practice to cry in front of the mirror and see how ugly and hopeless you are at that moment. I always do that and it reminds me how weak I am to try everyday to be stronger.

How many times you pamper yourself and how many times more you will call me crying hopelessly like that? For something you thing you lost? No, I guess just him can make you cry like that.

I don't like people to be so dependent on me. This is something very straight forward. When you call me just to show me that you're crying and then hang up, then you better don't. You want me to care for you at that moment? Well, you need to love yourself first! Your tear will become something I'm very sick of if it continues...

And I know you're also not going to read this

My Childhood

I was lucky to have a nice childhood to remember...
Though everything seems to fade away as time goes by

A video during great grandma in 1996, 1999 and 2006
I had my bro held my hand to lead me around
I had him to volunteer to be a camera man
A boy he was, not as now
The boy that sang Happy Birthday song to my great grandma
The bro that I was very proud of...

I had the aunty that worked as maid for my family for more than 7 years
It was the moment that I burst into tears since I didn't remember that she was there
She was even closer to me than my mom at that time
And I also went to her hometown and be noty there
At least she was also the one who went by my side for 1/4 of my life
I just really do wish to see her again...

I had my aunt still looks quite fat
Not as skinny as now due to sickness
I had my cousin sister in ao dai and look stupid with short hair and shorter than me (haha! :p)
Not as tall as now as well as being more mature
I had mom with super short hair (hahaha!) in ao dai
Well, she was quite long time with that hairstyle and the saloon even gave her the videotape of some other styles. I still remember the song of the video though...
I still had me with dress and look kinda pretty (muahaha!)
I had my great grandma with me of course...

I still had my dad singing some old song...

And I have tears in my eyes for being able to feel all of them again...